just tell him i said nine months
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
