youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
