I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
