Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
