Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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