She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize