If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
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Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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