Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
