it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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