I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
