angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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