I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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