I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
