I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
