he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
