kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
