where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
