to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
