all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
