you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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