farters have to be the big spoon...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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