whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
