she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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