god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
