I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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