Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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