Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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