did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
