I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
