Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
