whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize