I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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