There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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