her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
