bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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