Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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