Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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