Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
