I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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