Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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