Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize