no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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