Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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