he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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