so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
