Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
