I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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