Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
