The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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