do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize