I'm really into asian looking animals
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize