I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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