Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
