RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
