Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
