I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
