Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
