you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
