I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
