Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
