She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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