you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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