Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
